Heres a taboo for you. Most people in the world don’t use toilet paper. This is a serious issue but for some, rather amusing. Being British, I have an interest in all things lavatory. Its a cornerstone of our fabulous humour and rapier wit.
If China and India started to use toilet paper, there would be no trees left in the world, and that is a fact (one that I read in a public toilet in Thailand). Normally, toilet paper is kept on the top shelves of shops all over Asia, all dusty and sold like a semi-illicit item. How bizarre, why would he want to wipe his bottom? Spread it around a bit?! Filthy animal!
A little water, a bucket and your hand. That’s the equipment. It works a treat. Its cleaner and you will go up in the estimations of all the people from Asia (especially Thailand). That is many millions of new friends.
It is not dirty, a brief scrub with a finger(s) and a stream of water in the right place and you’re good as new. In India, always the left hand. Nice wash of the hands with plenty of soap and it’s all over, painless and fresh as a daisy. You can also buy a fancy mini showers that do the job, my Australian friend calls it the ‘bum gun’.
I was also told that it would take around 40 sheets of toilet paper to actually stop you coming in contact with poo bacteria. You are touching your own produce after all. It is what you ate, what your body made. I read there is greater understanding and sensitivity with the body in countries where people handle their own shit.
The Romans were fans of the communal toilet. Sitting with friends and family having a chat and passing the communal sponge on a stick around. Good clean fun.
It does take a little practice though and I can see that the idea of a cold bucket of water on the backside on a chilly November morning is less than appealing. Maybe use warm water?! Or move to Cambodia.
Judging by the huge media reaction this family got in the U.S., the western public is rather shocked at the prospect (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7000991.stm), so shocked that this man in Taunton, Somerset, call 999 when confronted with No Toilet Paper! aaaaahhhhhhhhhh http://www.metro.co.uk/news/885843-no-toilet-paper-999-caller-shamed-by-ambulance-chiefs
This technique and knowledge is also valued survival training for all those with aspirations of heading out of the pampered zone (anywhere Western).
This summer, no excuses. Join us in bum showers. Its cleaner and your bottom will love you for it. This will be normal in the future, as normal as taking used plastic bags back to Tescos, with the added bonus of saving the trees. It would make a huge impact on paper consumption and free up our overworked, mainly Victorian, British drainage systems.
Here is a forum dedicated to the topic of wiping thy bottom:
Here is a nice blog relating to this ‘No impact man’:
As a final note, if we all squatted whilst expelling our ‘waste’ there would be less constipation. They do it France.
Thank you and good day.