Archive for reality

Terence McKenna – Articulating the Human Condition (Lecture)

I found this lecture by Terence fascinating, from May 1990, Santa Fe, New Mexico:

“We are going to find out the nature of human nature … The real question is, is man good?”
“Its an absolute horse race ….neck and neck……between education and disaster. We ‘re either going to burst out into a millennium of freedom and caring and decency or we’re going to toxify the whole thing, turn it into an ash heap. The responsibility falls mostly on us. The lethal momentum of these institutions is terrifying. Our position is like that of people who are attempting to turn a battle ship 180o with an oar.”

Watercolour by Fabrizio Cassetta

“The world is whatever you say it is if you say it right…..We serve the idea that matter is ultimately at the command of mind, but we need to move that forward as a demonstrable principle…..”

“The concern is to get the word out, to get people to confirm these realities for themselves.”

“We are mental creatures…..we have never taken the imagination seriously…..we have always thought that things should go along like a random walk….we have the design process of the whole planet on our desk and we are being asked to step into the stewardship of the entire planetary environment…..we have to have the vision, the dream, and it can’t come from the personality of human beings, but has to come out of the bones of the planet.”

“We’re aren’t going to understand that this weekend, next week or ever, this is not a relationship of solving a problem, its a relationship of being an initiate to a mystery and then living your life in the light of that. The task of understanding is endless…..nature is pattern upon pattern, level upon level….everything is infinite and everything is animate and everything is filled with a kind of deep concern for humanity……We seem to be cut off from the rest of this.”

“I’m just banking on curiosity doing a lot of the footwork for the revolution, this is too good to miss (psychedelics)… that Marxism has collapsed, if we don’t substitute something for consumer values we’re just going to rape the earth in an effort to create crap for everybody.  The only alternative to materialism is spiritualism…..I mean there has to be as much inner richness as there previously was outer richness.”

“Reject everything except gold, it’s hard to take psychedelics, it’s not hard to sweep up around the ashram……’You went to Harvard, we went to ayahuasca’.”


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Reading about North Korea….Trump….and blah blah

I was just reading about the North Korea farce on the BBC.  I rarely read the news but this story has really got me thinking, maybe I was shocked so much because I’ve been taking it easy on the news front and my tolerance to the jeopardy and conformist, conservative nature of the mass media has weakened.  It certainly sparked something, it was like drinking a pint of espresso after giving up coffee for a month.  My mind went into overdrive and here’s what came out:

The people of North Korea are suffering so much; being ruled by a cruel dictatorship since 1948, famines throughout the 90’s, living completely without human rights or contact with the world.  This whole fabricated, phoney war is disgusting. But really, I’m much, much more worried about Donald than Kim….

Here’s what the BBC are saying –

Having read such sad news, I find it difficult to trust these interpretations of events.  I cannot fully trust any media story.  Why would I when I know the history of fake news and phoney wars; Saddam Hussien, Colonel Gadafi the list goes on.  We know that they’re generally lying or at best, suppressing/ editing things, and truth is certainly no longer relevant in the media/ political game. News is just another commodity to be packaged right and sold to us.

But I think more and more people are waking up to this and distrusting what they read, we are becoming disenfranchised and it seems to me we’re at a crossroads of sorts, we’re at the crest of some kind of wave, the only issue is this wave has no idea where it’s going to land.  Maybe this is perfectly natural, no one has been able to control large groups of humans, not even the USSR in it’s heyday.  We are a random bunch, in a perfectly random universe.  But this feeling of not knowing, although unsettling to many, could well be a great opportunity to do something new and focus on a different form of knowing.  A different way of approaching and articulating being here, human, conscious, and essentially, free.  If you type free into Google, the English band ‘Free’ comes up as the first search result, some good tunes that my Dad liked there.  The ‘liberty’ style free comes a close second.  Maybe my point here is; What are we seeking?  Real freedom?  What are we willing to give up for this?  And who is this seeker anyway?  If we could take steps to coming closer to the essence of these questions, I feel we’d have no doubt about where we are going.

Most wars, especially in modern times, are manufactured by ruling castes, the powerful drag us into conflict for their own reasons and are normally based around business decisions, profit, power and control (or destabalisation depending on the circumstance).  In history, occasionally it was for love, but we’re not romantic like that anymore.  The world in my eyes revolves around greedy, ignorant men (mainly) playing heartless power games with our lives and the future of our planet.  We are locked in a material approach to life, which disregards our true nature, by that I mean, some kind of sum that is much greater than the parts (and forces) we know about.  Which via the crude lense of modern science, aren’t many.  This approach has resulted in the suffering of many, while the few buy faster cars and yet are only permitted to drive the same speed as the rest of us (in doing so, symbolising the acute suffering in the accumulation of vacuous and pointless material wealth). Essentially, no one wins, but some are drinking better wine.

If we are obsessed with fame, wealth and fake-ness we get a Trump.  It seems obvious.  Maybe he is the wake up call we need as neo-liberalism and capitalism, from what I read, is on the way out or heading towards other odd mutations.  After all, the US President. the most powerful man (maybe) in the world, is a man who is honest about lying, who regularly speaks to us from a golden throne.  Who revels in vulgarity and sexism.  Brazenly bizarre behavior, weirdly honest and highlights something much less than transcendent.  Here is a man who could be a totem for change, some kind of opposite we can really push against.  The polar opposite of love, equality, compassion, honesty, forgiveness and integrity, like some kind of negative magnetic field, Trump is the force that is powerful to kick start and shake up the latent positive field that is sleeping within us as a whole.  The kind of force that says enough is enough, lets push back, let’s reconnect.  Lets become more aware of cycles, energies and mysteries that entice and inspire us on deeper levels, lets plug into that and heighten and refine our awareness and our behaviour will surely follow.

I find there are very few trustworthy news sources, especially (if any) in the mass media.  So what’s is this global agenda?  How do we find some truth, a balanced view about what’s going on out there?  How do we stay strong and find contentment in such shifting, turbulent times?  It ain’t easy!  It seems that on Facebook, the main source now of ‘news’, we are generally told what we want to hear.  An echo chamber effect.  Online we receive notifications, adverts and news that the complex algorithms which govern much of the internet want us to see, or, think that we’ll like.  Seems freedom of choice and therefore action is being impaired, almost toyed with.  Human life itself is gradually being homogenised.  How can we come up with a utopian vision, with clarity and integrity, when we’re bombarded with nonsense throughout the day and attention spans are waning and silence, idle windows when the mind can recline and take it easy, this clear source of true creativity is endangered.  Collectively, we need an idea of where we’re going, personally and together.  I love nostalgia, the raw energy and exploration of the 60’s (and the rock) is my thing, but we need something fresh, crisp and new.  Something that represents where we are now.

When I look at Donald and Kim, I can’t help feel sorry for them.  What poor excuses for human beings they are!  How they must struggle to find even the most fleeting whisp of joy in their bulldozing, pig headed existence. (No disrespect to pigs you understand, they’re of course, sensitive, wonderful animals.  Resilient and gentle.  Much more so than many of the leaders of the ‘free’ and ‘democratic’ world.  Which raises the question, if we put a Vietnamese pot bellied pig in charge of America, would the outcome be more or less farcical than having the Trumpster at the wheel.)  It would certainly be less damaging  in so many ways.  I don’t want to talk too harshly of Trump, he’s a product of his surroundings and relationships like the rest of us.  Like I said, he’s a product of our society, a society in which I have a role to play.  I’m not saying I’m responsible for Trump, I live in Wales, but I’m not sure how much part of the answer I am.  That is a regular question I face.  How much good am I doing?  Is that good effective?  Is the good actually good?  Is that process of thought beneficial?  I think, generally no.  In many ways, being self aware is our only way out of the disharmony we find in our minds, but in other ways, but it leads to great obstacles and challenges.  Facing up to who we are is at the core of developing as a person, but it can also throw us out of whack.  Hence, we need wise support, something which is not always there, we need a greater understanding, I think, generally, in so many ways.  We’ll probably never get there, but we must resist the temptation to shut up our rational inquisition, our personal curiosity to explore mysteries with that excitement we felt as children when we learned of dragons, fairies, dwarves and elves.   That child-like exuberance which wrote nothing because we didn’t know any better (or worse).  Since then, the shapes and chains of a form of industrialised knowledge, has in the most part, weighed down and choked that pure exuberance, our mind which was once like a flower has been battered into shape to conform with a sick society ran by insane people.  But the mind is infinite and wild and loves freedom, if given space to breathe and roam, it can heal and grow, dream and regain harmony.  We are the mind, which is our ultimate mystery and therefore, anything is possible, whatever we conceive, is real.  Which is why it is better to be flexible and fluid, in the face of such a circumstance, clinging to the edges of an industrialised mine field, seems like a pretty dull and lifeless proposition, when there is so much about ourselves that we don’t even know.  What a journey of discovery that potentially lies ahead!

But then you have Trump.  A man of privilege and wealth, who is provy to things and knowledge which is used to heighten privilege and wealth.  I just said our minds are infinite and free, on one level that is true, but on the lower levels, where we all are and reside, we can be easily led, docile and quite predictable.  The Trumps know this, as do incidentally ancient spiritual lineages like Hinduism and Buddhism, in fact, much of the mind based inquiry and understanding revealed to sages, seers, meditators and yogis throughout the ages, stretching into the mists of pre-history, is now being ratified by material, modern science.  Much of the other spiritual  theories and concepts are way off our charts in a science sense, but for me the only data or discoveries that are worth a damn happen to me, are part of my reality.  Which is why meditation has become such an integral part of my life, also an interest in psychedelic experiences has promoted a less linear and myopic approach to my life.  When you see what Trump says, how he says it and how he appeals to some of our core emotions, which with Trump are mainly fear based, you can see why it triggers a response.  If we are stable and comfortable in our skin, we are not such an easy flock to shepherd.  We ask too many questions.  Demand too many freedoms.  Suspect oppressive regimes and the concept of authority and rigidity in general.  In an ever shifting existence, where we find ourselves awakened between a birth and a death, how shall we play our hand?

Unless we’ve been raised in a toxic environment and allowed toxic habits/ behaviour to take hold from that time or during life, then we know what to do.  The instinct is there to protect and cherish life and therefore each other, ourselves and the planet.  We want to live!  Of all our primal callings, this one is surely the strongest.  Mental illness is now a huge issue in modern society and I think a sense of detachment from reality (life!), from our true nature, from each other, has had a big effect on this.  Our societies are increasingly moving away from a sense of togetherness, and this leads to loneliness and despair, if we are together, we are strong, if we are loving, we are expressing one of our extraordinary powers.  True superheros.  We are.

I travel a lot, I meet many people all over the planet from all walks of life.  I can see with my head and I know with my heart, people are good and a happy and fulfilling life is not that complex and requires very little thought, material wealth and, of course, little, if no, stress or drama.  Life has it’s challenges, but that’s part of the performance.  No one escapes because we are all living within the same conditions of a human body and mind.  There is no easy life out there.  If we aim for peace and contentment, with effort and sacrifice, we might get there.  If we live by good virtues, have good intentions, speak well of each other and live in greater harmony with our community and earth, we can and will thrive.  If we don’t bother, are lazy, let life beat us up, let emotions take hold, let a society fascinated by wealth and the material make us feel solid, stolid, cheap and small, then yes, life is a tough calling.  In that state, we’re missing out on the joys of living, sacrificing them for a fake plastic dream and cheapened versions of love, a temporary high in an enforced greyness which lacks imagination.  There are no great secrets to contentment, but that doesn’t make it any easier to get there.

The world that is presented to us on a daily basis by the media is in many ways a dark and elaborate hoax, a virtual world of strife, turmoil and disharmony; a fundamental lie, a mirage to keep us afraid of each other and, well, everything.  Our minds are bombarded with images and stimulus to keep us distracted and it seems, almost constantly exhausted in one way or another.  In turn, most of what we post on social media is also, in a sense, a hoax.  We post things that we think people with either enjoy or will make us appear a certain way.  In a way, I look at that as an example of how I try and repress my negative mental traits or habits and embellish and promote the ones I think are more ‘me’.  It’s nonsense really.  Repressing anything will only make it’s roots deeper and hiding from who we really are, is a pretty bizarre and pointless game of hide and seek.  Jung said that it is easier and preferable for us to fly to the moon than confront ourselves, look ourselves in the mirror, all the good and bad.  This involves monitoring out negative thoughts and emotional patterns, seeing if we can get to the root of them.  This is something best done in the right setting, using tools like mindfulness and certainly meditation can help, yoga is beneficial and helps us get out of our heads and into our bodies.  A reprise of sorts.  Dancing and singing can have a similar effect, but in meditation, we can really get a feel for our inner landscapes, how they rock, reel and roll, how we are not always our best friend and how we are not always aware of where we are, or what we are doing.  Meditation can release us from the constant mind chatter and bring us back to our senses, literally.  Meditation is a peaceful anchor in a stormy world, a window of potential enlightenment within this gloomy outlook.  But again, this is probably another post…..

We’ve all got our own style, we all came in with our own little something special to share.  We are all enlightening in one way or other.  Our individuality is what makes us so incredibly brilliant, perfect and special.  So vital.  It is why we can learn something from anyone in so many ways.  My perception and its effects is something I ponder a lot, also the limiting nature of my own ego (a subject for another sprawling piece of writing maybe?), but I would say this, if we could loosen up on opinions and narratives, the ones that can dominate all of the chatter and thoughts that fly through our minds, we are maybe better placed to come up with something more constructive in the sense that it would be more based on harmony, with roots in things like peace, bliss and understanding, tolerance and togetherness would thrive.  If we loosen our grip on our personality, something we all seem to cherish, we can reinvent ourselves, constantly and therefore move much closer to the constantly shifting nature of this.  Our moment to moment existence.   Maybe then we could recognise our generally negative ego-based behaviour as debilitating and a general pain.  A Tibetan nun once told me that the ego was like a spoiled teenager sitting in our skulls.  That description stuck with me and seems very true.  At least with my ego.  If I give that teenager attention, it grows in confidence and control, if I ignore it, it simmers down.  We waste so much time and energy stuck in our heads, lost in thoughts and our own little world dominated by the past and future dominated by that noisy teenager.

Most of what we’ve built our world view, and to some extent, our personality upon; our interpretation of history, our culture, is one big flabby slice of fiction.  There are so many ways we can interpret our lives and world views as being rotten to the core.  Especially if we read the ‘news’ on a daily basis, as it is based on multifarious knots of mis-truth and subterfuge.    Our world, on that level, seems like giant car accident that we are witnessing roadside, everyday.  From this shaky view point, packed with fear, when we stare off into the future, our dreams can become skewed, our vision blurred and disjointed.  It is hard to scrape together any hope.  The movie of our life may seem black and white instead of a 4D technicolour eruption.  I stopped reading the news so much because it seemed that everything I needed to know found me in the end.  I tried to tune more into the local news, whats happening in my surroundings and local community.  Then more local, what’s going on in my body and mind right now.  It’s more relevant.

In this way, with practice, I began waking up to my interdependence with the environment around me, my body (eating healthy and taking care of it), my community (family, friends, respecting, loving), the natural world around me (rivers for water, trees for air, soil for plants etc, respecting and loving), every detail of my life, my personality, when viewed with a focused sensitivity, is linked.  I am part of something big, formed by my past experiences and actions, I am woven into the very fabric of that which is living, the universe and everything, in a material, energetic and spiritual sense.  I find that sensation ultimately inspiring, to give a damn about what is going on in the world and opposing, protecting, with love as a guiding force, to preserve the beauty of all of this.

There are so many dangers to our continued life on this planet.  Trump and his gang starting phoney wars being a major area at the minute, also denying climate change, but they are created by humans and therefore, we can figure out a solution, we have a responsibility to.  It seems most people are called into action when things are local, to body, mind of community; soon I feel that most communities on earth, not just the poorer countries, will begin to see and feel the real effects of our disrespect and abuse of nature.  Nature is not a resource, it’s home.  How can we repair our relationship with the land and each other?  We need to figure this out in a hurry.

We now live in a world, dominated by corporations and politics, where the absurd and farcical are dominating proceedings, and in a suitably strange twist of irony, we seem to be losing our sense of humour.  That is one of the most worry things I find.  A world that can’t laugh at itself is certainly doomed.  John Lennon said;

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.”

He also said (I can’t find the quote) something like, the more rational we get, the more irrational the world becomes.  This seems to be the case for me, but it’s all subjective I know.  The more I learn about the institutions on which our society is based; be it science, politics or religion, the more I am able to see a different way of living and relating to everything.  Find my own voice somewhere in the cacophony of other peoples opinions and experience, find my own style and then realise, that it’s just my ego doing it’s thing.  Not putting too much emphasis on this personality I’ve created. not attached to this strange distraction.

Things are so complexed out there, but our minds and therefore our behaviour are being controlled more and more, in subtle and gross ways. Our opinions moderated, division achieved, sadness propagated, hopelessness promoted and our cultural norms tweaked to ensure maximum profit per person and ignorance/ indifference to the real story that could unfold if freedom, love and peace ran the show.  If we are not constantly hitting the refresh button, try to re-evaluate and handle our opinions with care and sensitivity, the mind can get into grooves, ruts of thought and behaviour, routines of action and thought that don’t necessarily serve us or those around us.  These grooves are highly addictive.  If we’re aware and care, we can move away from them; one step at a time.

It’s not easy to go against the tide.  Any one who doesn’t tow the line is derided and undermined. The banal is boss.  It doesn’t have to be like this.  I take the less materially minded route, more about living from the heart, seeking riches beyond money, fame and all that stuff.  In some ways, trying to tap into and realising the subtleties of my constantly changing state.  This outlook keeps me grounded and yet flexible, gives me a different sense of perspective.  Being calm and peaceful seems a big statement in itself nowadays.

So my response to all this is pretty simple.  I want to keep my eyes and heart open, wake up a little bit more each moment, question everything with something-like objective rationality, sniff at the peace that is all around when I’m not washed away by the nightmarish soap opera presented as life, believe in something far more potent and transcendent than this force fed mediocrity. Dream a brighter more loving world into existence simply by being creative, spontaneous and living that dream. Thinking differently, acting with good intentions, dancing to fresh, new beats and if I fail, I succeed.  Simply being kind, to myself and others, will go some way to healing the world.  I think that is a powerful idea.

I don’t feel despondent, even though most experts prognosis for humanity seems bleak.  There are many reasons to be inspired and energised.  Though sometimes I find myself looking back for inspiration.  If we scratch at the surface of human history or choose to delve into it’s depths, there is treasure to be found scattered in each era, there are bright windows in even our darkest chapters.  Thousands of years of human expression; epiphanies, soul searching, mystical meanderings, outrageous behaviour, drumming, shamanic rituals and heritage, plus unquenchable curiosity, has led to some awesome understanding; philosophical, scientific, architectural, astronomical, energetic, musical or other.  I am inspired by what we were, sometimes their echoes can seem feint and irrelevant, but I find so much hope between the punctuation marks of wars, colonialism and other barbarism, so many ways to look back and learn.

Hope is integral to who we are as a species of strangely aware naked apes.  It seems we’ve always known the answers to contentment, but putting them into practice is the sticky bit.  Radical change can and has happened, there seems to be a tipping point of conscience, as if society needs to be saturated with a momentum, where people are mobilised and human virtue rises to create new, more enlightened social norms; language changes, we tell new stories.

Where is the power?  Surely with the people, no matter the conspiratorial or other theories of who’s running this show, if large parts of society wish something, it will most probably happen.  Otherwise, lets face it, who’s going to buy stuff?  In this vacuum of ideas, where Donald can rise to the top, we need a new narrative.  We could also exercise our credit cards in new ways, by not using them at all.  One of the most effective ways of making a sales driven system take notice.  Stop spending.  Stop interacting.  Stop using services.  Stop clicking.  For the amount of effort required, it would have a massive effect.  I need to speak to someone about this.  Its not a new idea, but it doesn’t seem to have taken hold.  I wonder why?  Sitting reading a book could be the one of the future activities of the hard core activist.  I can see it catching on.

Sometimes, it is essential to look back a little, because in recent times, I feel a little let down by our left wing or other forms of radical thinkers, artists, musicians and the like.  The spark of genuine defiance, the creation of a viable opposition to the dross has seemed lacking.  It seems that things are merging and mingling to a degree where there is very little breathing space between the avant-garde and the mainstream.  But I’m not sure that’s the right place to look for real change in society anyway.  I think it goes deeper than that.  This does not include Bernie Sanders or Jeremy Corbyn, which is an amazing off shoot of all of this.  In all this disenfranchisement, it seems there is a feeling of togetherness growing, a wide scale reaction to the fakery of the people like The Trumps, Tony Blair, The Clintons et al.  Now could be the time, now must be the time, for a true change of heart, a change in the general spirit of living.  This spirit we’ve had, we need only look back at the indigenous peoples of the world to realise how far we’ve moved away from a harmonious existence with earth.  How we could use such wisdom to base our utopian revolutionary (we don’t have time for evolution, too slow!) society on.  Strong foundations, get our roots back in the earth where they belong.

The most important lessons I’ve learned revolve around love; giving love, receiving love, living with love, losing love, being in love. IN. LOVEx  It took some practice and society seems afraid to embrace it in anything like its fullest expression.  The awesome power of love will change everything, if we let it free.  Love leads to the realisation that by helping others, we help ourselves.  A truly open heart sees no differences.  We all know, that one moment when love returns, like the first rays of sunshine on a wintery dawn, now and forever, sometimes in soft focus, sometimes so close and clear; it burns away our creeping shadows and the hum of confusion seems distant for a while at least.  We wish to fully give what we are to someone or something else.  We completely surrender to its will.  Love makes us innocent and I think innocence is something we need to re-kindle in our societies.  A kind of softness and sensitivity.  But with love, as we all know, there is inevitably pain.  What a potentially great lessons to embrace and learn to forgive.  If we choose to view pain in such a way, it can liberating.  Many of the other important lessons that have popped up in my life, intangible as they are, have revolved around sitting and doing nothing.  Letting peace and silence do the teaching, let nothingness take over for a while.  Also, letting go of the pain caused by love by learning to forgive myself and others.  These are lessons I couldn’t live without.

Also, I have found that learning to breathe properly is of paramount importance to realising how my body is merely a manifestation of my mind, the strange and beautiful shoreline of my mainly unchartered internal oceans.  Sounds quite grand, but I do like a bit of poetry.  Also, inside the breath, wrapped up in the way it links what is internal, with what is external, in the way that in each in breathe, we are inviting life within, there is the opportunity to engage cleanse and make clear.  The breath is the doorway and the key, the breath is the curious tickle in the armpit of sobriety.  If used with care and some wisdom, the breath can ease conflict and delusion.  If the answers  we need aren’t coming from the outside, why not dive inside for a while? See what comes up from exploring silence and peace.  If our minds are fraught and unstable, should we expect anything else of the world at large?  In a world geared towards discontent, there’s a tide there to try and reverse.  Maybe some waves to catch?!

I see my mind and body as a bizarre and brilliant experiment that I can spend some years playing with.  Trail and error seems to work for me, trying new things, everyday and observing their effects.  Our brains need a holiday, otherwise they’ll become frazzled, saturated and eventually pop (malfunction).  Silence and peace is the only way to recharge and rewire our brain box in meaningful and transforming ways.  As a smiley guru in India once sang:
“Serve, give, love, purify, meditate, realise…….be kind, be compassionate.” Sounds good to me. Start slow and small with determination.

Our societies are no longer wisdom based, but profit based. I’m seeking some wisdom, some truth, something more than the plastic myths of the phantom fools who call themselves leaders or teachers. We are missing the point, most knowledge is pointless without experience, and true experience only comes from freedom, the freedom to live a full and perfectly random existence. I don’t give anyone else’s experience more credence or validity than my own. If a scientist told me the moon was made of space cheese, I’d question it.

The sparkle of humanity, our immense creativity, our limitless mind, our finest virtues, our sitting warm by a fire watching the flames escape, our twinkle in the eye; our ability to experience something like pure love, pure peace; a sense of connectivity with life, other people, the world and everything, all this is being eroded and marginalised. We are not taught to respect and treasure our greatest gifts. We are taught to buy ourselves contentment and happiness. As if emotions are not freely given. As if they do not rise from the great nothingness, just round the bend, beyond ourselves, which we will one day return to, like a falling leaf.

But it’s not something we are necessarily doing to ourselves, although the conditions for dissatisfaction are always there. Our sense of detachment is a big idea from people who, maybe even with misguided good intentions, are attempting to control us and life generally. Trying to commodify the human experience, our conscious state which no one in science or the materially minded world have come close to understanding or pinning down. We are magic you see! Unfurling in magnificent ways, our capabilities are unending and we are part of an infinite, energetic field of outlandish and awesome possibilities.

There is a trend now, a trend away from the natural (it potentially started when we took to ready meals and moved away from muddy vegetables, but I am a cook, therefore orbit the belly), from the human, a trend that is leading us towards a predictable future (governed by the internet/ google and algorithms), where we are not taught to change the world, but live with it’s inevitable destruction by our own hands. It’s like a slow suicide.

This trend is tugging us gradually away from the heart.  The heart is the only compass worth following, it seems bizarre that in a world where we are using vast amounts of time, resources and skill to create Artificial Intelligence, we have not begun to explore our own inherent intelligence.  It seems we are too awestruck at the proposition of our own potential, so therefore wish to create a world, a reality, where the dumbed down, heart-less, fear-full, incarnations of a universe trapped in states of flux, play and evolution can inhabit a realm of sheer and perfectly contrived boredom.  An alarming situation to comprehend.  The end of humanity as we know it.  The end of truly expressive and emotive poetry, art would become something like paint by numbers, music and movies just a re-hashing of popular flicks from the past; each and every relationship would be mapped out, weighed, tagged and measured, given a value and number, probably on Trip Advisor or something similar.

It’s Orwellian, but goes further than that in the sense that it will attempt to interfere directly with the way we think by taking control over some of our thought processes and making decisions for us based on data.  We would be wrapped in shell of binary distraction and delusion controlled by people who are best at making cars and washing machines or trading shares.  Existence would become the dull vision of those lacking in creativity or spice.  Bank CEO’s would be our prophets, Apple will buy out the Vatican, metaphysical matters will be placed in the safe hands of Volvo, McDonalds will become our only source of nutrition, rain will be harvested and sold to the highest bidder.  But behind it all will be Google, pulling the strings, creating the language and narratives that add fuel and texture to our increasingly tepid reality.

This may sound nightmarish (maybe not the Vatican bit) but it’s close already.  We will gradually, hand over the keys to authenticity and individuality, we’ll willingly hand control of our life in it’s entirety to a corporate entity because we cannot comprehend the other many sides of the complex polyhedron which spins far beyond the speed of light and reflects to us the raw and present perfection latent in the everything we are.

Originality, authenticity, integrity, we can kiss goodbye to these notions within this AI dystopia.  This is why, more so than ever, the creative sorts who skirt around the borderlines of society, who fuse and fiddle with conventions, who collude and distort the boundaries of decency and divinity are needed more than ever.  The mystics, the shamans, the healers, the open hearted believers, are needed more than ever.  I think we are all blown away regularly (I hope) by another’s creative gestures because we are all paddling in the same bath tub, following the same stars that sparkle deep within our collective imagination (that is timeless, eternal and ultimately free like migrating constellations enraptured in chaotic potency.) We see the sparks of ourselves in others which can be equally comforting and alarming.  But in art, in the astounding freedoms we explore when we are lost in the act of creation, whether dancing, writing, making love or simply dreaming, we are surely giving a voice and greater clarity to our truest and deepest expressions.  Refining our abilities to express the inexpressible with some kind of rapture escaping each time.  Some have called that a meditation, an exploration of this, us, a reflection of something we can never truly understand but cannot live without.

The universe is a strange place to be, but we don’t need to be a stranger to who and what we are.  But we must ask the right questions to unpick the stitches, until we reach a point when we realise that answers are really just new questions disguised, another cycle of knowledge based inquiry that is ultimately futile.  Silence!  We don’t give enough value to emptiness and nothingness.  To explore well, it’s best to stop fully.  If we stay close to our roots, which are fertile with wisdom and suggest strength, growth and calm, we can witness this unfolding, unhinged world with compassion and forgiveness, always finding wonderment and awe, even in the latest Brexit drone of Teresa May.

Or this AI thing won’t happen at all.  We’ll wake up tomorrow and clothes will be unnecessary (even in Wales) and we’ll skip not walk, dance not work, sing not speak and love never hate.  The potential is always there, in every moment, for this to pop into being.  Astounding things are happening all the time.  I’m constantly surprised.

In all this perceived conflict, maybe we have to fight to make things real. Maybe sitting on a cushion meditating is fighting, it’s the battleground for peace, inside our own minds.  In a sense, sitting and doing nothing seems extreme to many.  Society wants to keep us busy and buzzing right?  Meditating could represent an opposite to the confusion and distress that is erupting all over the world.  It represents the opposite to what most would call active-ism. But I think it subversive in the finest way possible.

Collectively, we could use a bigger dream, take some more risks, even risk rejection; speak out, burn our bridges to make new discoveries and benefit from greater understanding of our state which has not changed since the dawning of this form of human consciousness.  Why are we here?  Not sure, but it’s probably not to buy sofas.  The universe appears to be dependent on friction, on sparks, on opposing forces; to oppose is natural, but it doesn’t have to involve aggression. Sitting in peace, works.  Society will only be truly rich and harmonious when we are individually free to realise and explore our own thoughts, our own consciousness, with respect for the freedom of others and with an idea of greater freedoms for ourselves.  Within and without.  Maybe great solutions, on many levels, will come from our great crisis?

I say, don’t let them feed you poison or tell you you’re anything less than perfection finding it’s way through the mud and mist. Putting it like that, I don’t feel like going to Ikea or picking up the Daily Mail, I don’t want to buy into hate or listen to the commentary of yet another phoney war.  I won’t let the media dictate the story of my life or how I relate to the world, I trust myself to figure that one out, in my own way.  My heart goes out to anyone suffering from the effects of war.  I hope the people of North Korea find greater peace and freedom in their lifetimes.  I hope we all do.

I have no answers, but this rambling has helped to clear some things up in my mind.  Just ideas, my ego on overtime and a big old bag of blah blah (words and shapes).

At the dawning of another potential fake war, another chapter of mass human suffering, manufactured by those insane cadre of “heartless manipulators”(Iggy Pop) who run America, I sat that we are here to transform, enliven, learn, evolve and disappear effortlessly.

************Rage on, love all, daydream, keep going!!******************

P.S. – BLAHBLAH… is also a mantra.

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In the words of Terence McKenna

Inspiration left behind by the late Terence Mckenna:

“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering its a feather bed.”

“Human beings are co-partners with deity in the project of being. This is the basis of all magic.”

“You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms.”

“We are the inheritors of a million years of striving for the unspeakable.”

“We have to create culture, don’t watch TV, don’t read magazines, don’t even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you’re worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you’re giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told ‘no’, we’re unimportant, we’re peripheral. ‘Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.’ And then you’re a player, you don’t want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that’s being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.”

“We have been to the moon, we have charted the depths of the ocean and the heart of the atom, but we have a fear of looking inward to ourselves because we sense that is where all the contradictions flow together.”

“Nobody is smarter than you are. And what if they are? What good is their understanding doing you?”

“Chaos is what we’ve lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.”

“If the words ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness’ don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.”

“You have to take seriously the notion that understanding the universe is your responsibility, because the only understanding of the universe that will be useful to you is your own understanding.”

“The cost of sanity in this society, is a certain level of alienation”

“Western civilization is a loaded gun pointed at the head of this planet.”

“We live in condensations of our imagination”

“It is not easy to measure the ocean, but we can be measured by it, confront it, and be in it.”

“The apocalypse is not something which is coming. The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it’s only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse.”

“If you don’t have a plan, you become part of somebody else’s plan.”

“Nothing comes unannounced, but many can miss the announcement. So it’s very important to actually listen to your own intuition rather than driving through it.”

“It’s clearly a crisis of two things: of consciousness and conditioning. We have the technological power, the engineering skills to save our planet, to cure disease, to feed the hungry, to end war; But we lack the intellectual vision, the ability to change our minds. We must decondition ourselves from 10,000 years of bad behavior. And, it’s not easy.”

“We tend to disempower ourselves. We tend to believe that we don’t matter. And in the act of taking that idea to ourselves we give everything away to somebody else, to something else.”

“I’ll try to be around and about. But if I’m not, then you know that I’m behind your eyelids, and I’ll meet you there”

― Terence McKenna

Terence Mckenna Art

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Thrive – What on earth will it take? (Full Movie)

THRIVE is an unconventional documentary that lifts the veil on what’s REALLY going on in our world by following the money upstream — uncovering the global consolidation of power in nearly every aspect of our lives. Weaving together breakthroughs in science, consciousness and activism, THRIVE offers real solutions, empowering us with unprecedented and bold strategies for reclaiming our lives and our future.

Thrive is a movie that informs and empowers us relating to our roles as humans sharing the earth.  Find out more on their site:

I cannot upload the clip onto this blog, to watch the full documentary for free, you will have to enter you’re email and join the site.  Initially I found it a little slick and hollywood, but it soon settles down into a fascinating expose of the way things are and how and why we are being oppressed and who is behind this madness.

It is well worth a couple of hours, ‘Thrive’ opens the doorway to so much diverse knowledge about our history, our infinite potential and those who would take it away from us.

“THRIVE is more than a documentary relevant to the times. It is more than a well-researched and alarming insight into who really controls how the world works. It is a recipe and blueprint for how we can, each and every one of us, thrive in the way that the rest of nature does – easily, naturally and with expansive grace. For this last point alone, it is more than worth the time to see.”

-Odyssey Magazine

If you like the message of ‘Thrive’, please pass it on……

Peace and LightX


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Gentle Dreamer


Each night I slip


Ease into a darkness


Well within the cave,

My soul.

No light to speak,

No seeker unique,

Images project

Upon my boundaries,

Where the gate swings,

A creak.



Moonlit blue,


With snakes.

The last beach


Untraceable track


Are forgotten.

Without meaning,

Without fear,

Sleep comes;







No chariots?

In comfort,


A far reaching clarity,

No cause

To bind

Our true




How funny the mind!

That this be my way.

To lay on the soft bread


As creeping moss climbs

The bark of hollow


Marked by lightning,

Black scars open

To the sky.

Which ladder is mine?

There is laughter

Below the stairs,

Hear them

Whisper of love divine,

That we are it;

Freedom dreaming

Of sensations

Beyond waking eyes.

This night

Gentle dreamer (that is I),

Under starry eyed sky

Slip from sight,


Without cares,

Breathe a last

Shallow sigh.

Kiss it



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From Rock to Pebbles

Sunrise, The Ganges, Haridwar, 24/4/2011

A photo of some Kinnauri ladies triggered something here……….

If you travel to the Himalayas you will see many people, normally ladies, crouched by the side of the mountain roads bashing rocks with small hammers. They spend all day, many years, breaking larger rocks into smaller rocks. They then sell these rocks as rubble, earning a small amount of money per sack. They live by the sides of these roads, in magical places, under plastic roofs, breaking things down………

…..Life is controlled by our thoughts, they resemble shapes and form distinct patterns which fashion our behavior and subsequently our destiny.  But gather too many solid thoughts, become attached to one way of thinking, one groove, and our minds can become cluttered with piles of roadside rocks.

It seems wise to learn how to manage these odd, dusty forms that arise and crystallise; be it a thought, an opinion or a desire, maybe even an urge to take up golf!  Sit back and watch them for a while, see how they move, merge and block our way.  What a trickster!  This mind that would weigh us down.

These solid shapes are like great boulders that mark our path, separate us from nature and each other.  They are the gross forms interrupting our flow.  They divide.  The natural state of being is constantly hampered by an attachment to these fascinating, alluring lumps of nothingness.  What would we be without our opinions?  Who would we be?  We are drawn to them, deem them precious or integral to our being, when what we should really do is bash them up into little pieces and take up juggling!  Mix things up a little, try something new.  Break out of these ‘frames’ of mind and see the other side.

Our hammer is silence and peace, with a little focus and a lot of love, we can feel these lumps breaking down into manageable sizes and more fluid forms.  Their density becomes lower and finally, they melt away.   Like grains of salt dissolving into the ocean of our own consciousness, then real living can begin.

Mass means suffering, when it hits you, it hurts.  Mass seems so solid, no feeling there.  Mass is what the modern world seems obsessed by.  This material world that’s spinning out of control with no consideration for the rules of the game.  Many men, and women, wish to become more muscular.  Get massed up!  But why?  There are no nerves to be found in muscle.  Less sensation ensues.  Dullness is best avoided, not embraced.

Solid thoughts and emotions can be carried as unwanted baggage.  My Nana used to always say ‘Have you lost your marbles?’ when I did something slightly out of the ordinary.  I wish Nana!  I’ve been trying to get rid of them for years.  When we begin to let go of our grip on the physical world, of grey, mass-produced conformity (that is to say any notion of actually being in control of your life) people like my lovely Nana think you are losing your mind!  Truth is you probably are.  Good riddance.  Lets get mad.  John Lennon said that the ‘More real you get, the more unreal the world gets…..’

These ragged rocks will eventually scar our soul and pull us, then push us, towards states of confusion, despair, joy and fear.  Life feels like you’re trapped in a spinning washing machine full of bricks.  Who am I in this cage?  Am I the rock or the river?

We must whittle away.  Bit by bit; in a painstaking fashion with care and great love, using our inherent craftsmanship to make this boulder a smaller rock,  then an even smaller pebble and so on…..Then take that pebble and skim it into the perfectly still pond of the universe and watch the rainbow ripples flow.

The only thing is, we cannot free ourselves from the boulders and pebbles of life; just make them more manageable, lessen their impact.  After all, when you crack one stone, you make two!  We are stuck in a constant state of flux what a beautiful place to be!  In union with all things we are both the jagged rock and the ever flowing river and should wish for nothing more (or less).

“Be at one with the dust of the Earth.
This is primal union.”  Lao-tzu

This is the space of acceptance where I discovered some truths.  Let go for a while.  Felt free again to find my own understanding and power, there seemed no more boundaries left to cross, tuned to the energy which guides us through each moment towards faint memories of perfect harmony.   That time just before twilight and dawn, when the soul breathes and relieves life.  That witching hour where blues and oranges make love in the ever summer breeze.  Where we are free of burdens and pebbles in our shoes.

Find your love then follow it,

it leads to the heart of everythingX

Langcha Lady, Spiti Valley

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The Green Beautiful (La Belle Verte) – Full Movie

A wonderful movie about a society of people, living somewhere in our universe who live in harmony with nature.  They send Mila down to earth to observe our behaviour, this begins a humourous, dramatic and deeply moving story of the madness that she encounters.

The football match scene is a movie classic!

I’m off to trapeze for while, I hope you enjoyX

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